Total Disconnection: The Tool To Unhook Yourself From Love

This is one of the most powerful tools that can be used when we separate from our partner. Total disconnection is the most effective method to detoxify ourselves from the love drug, to leave the past behind, and to avoid hurting each other during the breakup process.

When we quit alcohol or tobacco, our brain tricks us with a seductive voice that invites us to have a cigarette or a beer (the world is not going to end, no one is going to see you, it’s not really that serious, this time will be the last for real, etc.).

This happens because our nervous system needs nicotine and all the substances that make tobacco addictive, or it needs alcohol, or any other substance that makes us slaves to the chemical reward mechanisms that the body activates when we consume them.

Everyone knows that to quit smoking, it is best to quit smoking.

And become aware that it is over forever and a new stage begins.

How to separate from a partner without suffering

Since love is a drug, you have to detox in order to cleanse yourself, and then comes the task of freeing yourself from addiction. We have to go through “the monkey” or withdrawal syndrome knowing that there will be good moments, bad moments, very bad and horrible moments.

Our brain will try to trick us with a thousand tricks and strategies because it needs serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline, and all those pleasant drugs that our brain manufactures when it gives and receives love.

We then have to resist the urge to return, to call, to ask for a last meeting for the umpteenth time, to look for excuses to get in touch with the person we have to fall out of love with.

I have always needed months and even one or two years of total disconnection with my partner in the breakups, although I have always done it with the complicity of the other person.

We have said to ourselves: “I know that you are going to be fine, you know that I am going to be fine, and if something happens to us, our friends and acquaintances inform us. So let’s not talk, let’s not call each other, let’s not see each other : We both know that we love each other very much and that this is necessary to be able to undo the bond, let go and take flight, each one on their own. “

Total disconnection should never be used to harm the other person, nor should it be used to threaten or blackmail: it is just a therapeutic method that can greatly help both members of the couple to overcome the duel and to get rid of it.

When there are sons and daughters involved, zero contact can be made with the help of family and closest friends, who are sure to be delighted and delighted to help us through the transition. When there are legal and financial issues involved, professionals (lawyers, consultants, etc.), and also close people, can help us.

If the other person resists total disconnection, you can make a pact with yourself and say out loud:

“I disconnect from you without grudges, without hatred, with a lot of love towards you and especially towards myself.”

It is simply a way to take care of yourself, to protect yourself, to support yourself in hard times.

Falling out of love takes time and you have to be patient, because nostalgia invades us in the least expected moments, and because sometimes we mythologize relationships and see them as greater than they really were.

That’s why it helps a lot when you don’t know anything about the other person. Or when you know that she is fine, but you don’t know if she is ruined, if she is happy, if she already has another new partner, if she is getting married or if she is separated again.

If you do not know anything, there is no pain : since you only have information about the past, there is no choice but to look ahead and follow the path. We take the memories, but our present is already detached from its present, and this is essential to be able to empty ourselves of love and make room for all the new affections that are to come.

The Total Disconnection can end when the grief ends and we realize that we are rebuilding our lives, when we free ourselves from desire and pain, when we are already focused on ourselves and on our projects, when there is no longer any strong emotion left to us. stir inside, when we have accepted that one stage is over, and another is beginning.

I have reconnected with my exes when I have already felt liberated. When I see myself savoring my present and dreaming about my future, I can approach with affection to transform the love I felt into a beautiful friendship.

It was hard for me to learn that I didn’t have to kill what I felt, I just had to give love more space, and put romance aside. It’s wonderful to be able to love a person you’ve loved so much, not have to give them up forever, not have to cut them out of your life.

When I think about it, I feel very lucky that I have always been able to put the past behind me.

Sometimes it has taken me years to initiate and maintain the total disconnection, but when you achieve it, the forgetfulness comes alone, and the memories no longer condition you, they only accompany you like the rest of your memories.

It’s worth it because once you break free, you can fall in love with other people again, live other stories, and build other beautiful bonds: Total Disconnection works.