Stop Thinking That You Are Not Up To The Task

In childhood, due to the social nature of our species, we attribute to the adults around us the role of reference model. They, our closest social link, teach us, through their words and behaviors, the complexity of the world.

They also advise us on how to act and tell us what is expected of us in what situation. Under the tutelage of our parents, family members and also our teachers, we are assuming certain words, ideas and behaviors as normal. We do not doubt them, we recognize them and they help us to feel safe.

However, this guide that helps us learn to adapt to society, far from being always positive, can have a very limiting dark side. And it is that if adults transmit their fears and anguish to us or we grow up surrounded by negative messages about our person and our possibilities in life, our self-esteem can be seriously affected for life.

Hearing over and over that we are clumsy, stupid or useless makes us assume these disqualifications as traits of our personality, that we internalize them as true and we end up losing our confidence in ourselves.

The message goes deep

Thus, during adult life we ​​can continue to believe that we are not gifted to perform certain jobs or that we are incapable of doing certain things. Because that’s how we learned it in our childhood. Those value judgments during childhood can become a mental corset that limits us in the present and prevents us from moving towards goals that would make us happier.

To free ourselves from this burden we must become aware of the walls and mental barriers that others have erected in our thoughts. That is, we must identify where this negative concept that we have of ourselves comes from.

We can start by paying attention to the words we use to rate ourselves in those situations that block us. These expressions will help us to identify the characters from the past who assigned them to us. Do you recognize if any of these phrases comes from a family member or teacher? Surely you can remember a situation where you were referred to in this way.

Analyzing these qualifiers you will be able to elucidate if you really were what they named you or if it was their prejudices that spoke for you.

We repeat “I am not capable” or “I am clumsy” but these thoughts have no real basis: they derive from the prejudices of our elders, from negative words that eventually crystallize within us, configuring a restrictive reality for us.

When we realize that these ideas do not correspond to reality and that they were implanted in us from the outside, a very powerful change occurs within us. We understand that our supposed deficiencies were not inscribed in our DNA, that they are not real and that they were imposed on us.

Knowing that our limiting thoughts are not inscribed in our genetics, but that they derive from cultural learning, means that we are always in time to unlearn them in order to find our own way. Once we have identified the source of our mental barriers, we can work to remove these harmful thoughts from our present.

In this way, we will be able to deactivate the influence of those people from the past who limited us with their words. Recognizing how absurd and unfair those trials were, we will be able to remove their negative mandates from our minds and remove the barriers that created us. We will then be able to stop seeing ourselves as others did to see ourselves as we really are.

As we free ourselves from the burden of the past, we will begin to feel more connected to ourselves. We will no longer be so harsh and restrictive with ourselves, we will allow ourselves to listen to our intuition, to our inner compass, and we will pay attention to their messages. This compass will point towards our passions, towards what we really like to do.

Finally, our true being, everything that is authentically ours and not imposed by others, will be able to emerge. The time has come to trust us and to follow our authentic path. To pursue our goals.

Chase your dreams trusting you

1. Focus on you

It is impossible for everyone to like you and the more attention you pay to the opinions of others, the further you will get away from yourself and from your own path. The time has come to stop depending on the external gaze. Start now to trust yourself and your decisions.

2. Focus

Perhaps you have spent much of your life dedicating yourself to meeting the expectations of others. Ask yourself if this has really made you happy or kept you in a state of continual distress. Identify what you are really passionate about and focus on this occupation.

3. Be consistent

Freeing yourself from the limitations that others imposed on you does not mean that you will be able to do, at first, any activity. Do not expect to achieve spectacular successes in a very short time. To improve in any field, even one that you are passionate about and are good at, you need daily work and effort.

4. Follow your intuition

Breaking through your preconceptions can be overwhelming at first. You can face an identity vacuum: “If I am not the one they told me, who am I really?” Faced with this vertigo, you only have to trust your intuition and feel what you really are. You will then see that possibilities are open to you that you have never considered.

5. Seek inspiration

Reading biographies of characters who were rejected but who trusted themselves and managed to overcome the barriers that others tried to impose on them is inspiring. For example, the story of JK Rowling, which was rejected 12 times, until the daughter of the editor of the Bloomsbury publishing house convinced her father to publish the Harry Potter stories.