Learning To Lose

Carlos watched the last minutes of his daughter’s game from the stands. At sixteen, he had just signed for a youth soccer team that was winning by one to zero that afternoon.

When the referee whistled the end of the match, the players went to hug their rivals

Proud of his daughter’s debut, even though the only goal would have been scored by the opposing team in his own door, Carlos waited for her in front of the locker room to return home with her. However, when she left, already showered and changed, she said:

“I’ll be home in an hour, Dad.” We have a snack with the team.

“Sure, I suppose you want to celebrate victory with your teammates.”

—I go with them, yes, but also with rivals. In fact, we invite them to have a snack.

-How is that? He asked, surprised.

“It’s a rule from Joan, our coach.” Those who win invite those who lose to have a snack.

“I understand … It’s about comforting them in defeat.” A cracked voice surprised Carlos, who turned around to discover an old man in a tracksuit.

“On the contrary, it’s about learning from those who lose, that’s why my girls will pay for the snack.” By the way, are you in a hurry? I used to climb that mountain after the games in our field, and I like to be accompanied.

Carlos snorted, overwhelmed, while appreciating the small mountain right next to the stadium. It was no more than two hundred meters high, so it could be up and down in an hour. In order not to be rude, he accepted the invitation and the two of them walked silently down the path.

When they had covered most of the slope, Joan explained:

“Once a month I ask the girls to go up and down this mountain.” It is part of their vital training.

“Same as inviting losers, right?” –Said Carlos, who did not understand what was the point of going up and down a mountain, beyond physical exercise.

“Actually, it’s the same thing.” The mountain is a metaphor for life and teaches us to win and lose. During the first half of life, we climb the mountain and earn things along the way. We accumulate knowledge, possessions, success … We are young and energetic, and when we reach the top we look at the world from above and shout: “I have arrived up here! I have achieved this and that! ”.

That cry actually coincided with his arrival at the top of the mountain, from where the stadium was seen from a bird’s eye view. At that time, the gardener watered the field.

The old man’s voice brought Carlos out of that calm after the effort with an indiscreet question:

-How old are you?

-Fifty-four. I had my daughter when I grew up.

“That’s fantastic … Then he has already started down the mountain, as we will now,” she said, inviting him to start the descent. Are you ready to lose?

-What do you mean exactly? Carlos asked, somewhat irritated.

“Unless you’re going to live a hundred and twenty years, you’ve probably already reached the top and shown the world your accomplishments.” He is satisfied?

“I suppose so,” he said as they went down a different path. I have managed to work in what I like and in my sector I am respected. I have my house paid for and my daughter already flies alone. In a couple of years he will go to university and I will see little of his hair, because he wants to study abroad.
Assuring each step, the old man replied:

– In this phase you will have to learn to lose, and not just your daughter.

“Are you trying to depress me, Joan?”

-No! Just enjoy each stage. Or is it that going up a mountain is more beautiful than going down

Carlos did not answer.

“When we descend the mountain of life,” the coach continued, “we not only see our parents leave while our children begin to emancipate themselves.” Along the way we leave friends, people with whom we had a lot in common and who have chosen other routes …

“But it hurts to say goodbye to what we love.”

“Of course it hurts, but pain proves that we are alive and constantly evolving.” On the way down the mountain we fire people, our body does not work as before … although we gain other things in return.

-What things?

“Greater understanding of life.” On the way up we accumulate things and on the way down we lose weight to walk lighter. If we have learned the lessons of the way, each time we will need less and we will enjoy every moment.

When saying goodbye, the coach put his hand on Carlos’s shoulder and said:

It is true that no one teaches us to lose in life … but for our happiness it is as important as knowing how to win.