Free Ourselves From The Fear Of Not Liking

If as children we did not grow up sufficiently supported by our parents, we did not build a solid confidence in ourselves. And now, as adults, we have the need to feel accepted by others above all else.

How to overcome the fear of rejection

As children, not submitting to the demands of loved ones could lead to their anger and contempt. For us, this rejection was a catastrophe.

Without realizing it we have inherited that continuous disapproval received and we have made it very ours. And if we felt undervalued in our childhood, now we are possibly our worst judge.

Remember that you are no longer a dependent creature of others, you are an independent adult who can protect himself from danger. Many years have passed and the feeling of danger, which in the past made us withdraw, no longer makes sense.

Are we trained to take care of ourselves and break that dependency? These 8 ideas describe how.

1. Observe ourselves less and live more!

In the world there are more than 7,000 million inhabitants and it is impossible to like or like everyone. Each person is unique and there is no point in comparing ourselves.

Sacrificing their own interests and needs, many people to like and be accepted, end up adapting to the wishes and opinions of others. But to be happy, what we really need is to analyze and criticize ourselves less.

The big problem is not others, but that constant rain of self-judgment to which we submit. We are all exceptional people and yet each one of us has become our own worst enemy.

2. Dare to be who we are

You may not see it clearly now, but being yourself, being authentic, is the greatest achievement we can achieve in our lives. Being yourself frees you from the fears, the brakes and the conditioning of others.

Each person is born with their own identity, with their own gifts and talents; many times, due to the pressure received, we abandon them and do not develop them.

The time has come to leave behind the dreams and desires of others to fulfill your own. Going your own way will give you high self-esteem and a deep sense of security.

3. Take care of suffering with criticism

Sometimes we allow ourselves to be negatively influenced by what others think about any aspect of our life (physical, relationships, work, way of dressing, etc.).

We can always -all- improve. Nobody is perfect”. If anyone makes a personal comment about us, we may take and accept constructive feedback as a benefit.

We can take negative criticism as an opportunity to look further into the reasons for the other person’s discomfort. Reflect on the intention you had when saying them and take the opportunity to see if we judged ourselves in a similar way.

4. Start talking to each other differently

We believe that we depend on the opinion of others, but what truly paralyzes us is that imaginary “external look” that is inside us.

Once this premise is assumed, we can focus our energy and attention on communicating more gently with our inner selves.

When we begin to listen to ourselves from this other place, we will notice that our inner voice comes loaded with reproaches

But little by little, with patience, we will learn to detect and deactivate them. And we will realize that this way we feel stronger and with more available energy.

5. Approach new people

When we begin to connect with ourselves in a kinder way, we free ourselves. And then, we no longer need to put outside, around us, people who express what we somehow already reproduced in our inner dialogue.

By expressing ourselves with greater freedom and self-approval, we will not “lose” old friends, but will stop looking outside for that negative judgment that is really only ours. And yes, that may also bring us closer to other new people.

6. Our opinion matters

Let’s not be afraid to express what we think, to share our ideas, to offer suggestions, to rebut others. Our opinion is as valid as that of others, even more so when it comes to our own life.

We know better than anyone what we like, what we dislike, what is right for us and what is not. We leave behind a childhood in which our voice was systematically silenced and invalidated.

Let’s get back our own words, let’s express ourselves freely, debate, defend our position, daring to say No. We have a lot to contribute if we stop holding back.

7. Let’s decide but without criticizing ourselves

We believe in our decisions, we fully trust them. They are our decisions, we do not need others to approve them. We don’t have to explain to anyone.

Our life is ours, let’s live it and enjoy it. Let’s start to propose plans, to do the things that we really like. To solve our problems by finding our own solutions, we do not depend on others for everything.

Taking care of ourselves takes us away from emotional dependency. They can always lend us a hand or give us advice, but the last word, the final decision, is always ours.

8. Let’s do things for ourselves

When we recover our true selves and we stop depending on the approval of others, their judgment, or our own, we feel liberated and we want to carry out activities and changes that in our moment we do not carry out out of fear.

We can start with simple challenges like:

• Use colors that we did not use to seem striking.
• Give us a different haircut.
• Join activities that we like but did not dare to do: dance, theater, a writing workshop, a diving course.

After the first changes, let’s set more ambitious goals. Our happiness resides in our hands.