Reflect: Your Intuition Prevents You From Being Happy

In his bestseller Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking , Malcolm Gladwell promoted the idea that decisions made in the blink of an eye (blink means “blink”, “blink”) – based on poor information, or out of sheer sensation and instinct – they are often better than those that have been carefully thought through and reasoned.

The culture in general, fueled by media reports, has embraced this rewarding idea with enthusiasm. After all, the idea of ​​relying on intuition for important decisions and judgments – of not having to work at all! – is incredibly appealing. On the contrary, I argue that thinking twice – or even three times – may be the best way to think.

How do we make decisions?

The debate about whether thinking things once is better than thinking twice (or sometimes), or vice versa, has a very long history. Starting with Plato and Aristotle, philosophers, writers, and, in recent decades, cognitive and social psychologists have drawn the distinction between the two different pathways our brain travels when making judgments and making decisions.

• The first way (which goes by the slightly catchy name System 1; I’ll call it “intuitive”) is the one that Gladwell describes in Blink . When we let ourselves be carried away by our intuitions, hunches or emotions of the moment to decide whether we should rush out of our work, we are relying on our intuitive system. Such decisions are made so quickly and automatically that we are not aware of what exactly influenced them. My goal is to clarify the errors about our happiness that influence these first lightly made reasonings.

Wait, not rush to conclusions. Thinking things through once won’t get us very far.

• The second way in which our minds operate (called System 2 by scientists, but which I will refer to as “rational”) is much more prudent. When we rely on reason or rational thinking to change jobs, we gather energy and effort, we take our time, we analyze the situation systematically and critically, and we may use our own principles or rules. This is precisely what I would ask you to do.

The traps of intuition

Over the past half century, an enormous body of psychological literature has documented the many errors and prejudices that lead human beings to make poor decisions based on their intuitions. Undoubtedly, we tend to make costly mistakes when we make choices, and this is because our intuitive system – which many rely heavily on – usually relies on hasty mental shortcuts or general rules of thumb (“Did you hear about the shooting at the cinema? I prefer to watch TV at home ”), which usually leads to self-deception.

However, despite the pitfalls inherent in the intuitive system, our first intuitional thoughts are often far more compelling than our thoughtful ones. Indeed, since intuitive judgments often seem to arise spontaneously, automatically, and voluntarily, we experience them almost as “taken for granted” or recognized fact.

Our initial reactions are governed by the lies we believe ourselves about what makes us happy.

Consequently, when we firmly believe that we should take our job and kick it, even if it is a feeling rooted in myths about happiness, we give that intuition additional meaning and importance because it “makes us feel good.” Indeed, we tend to prefer hunches, even if they are clearly irrational.

It is not my intention to suggest that thinking things through two or three times is always an optimal strategy, especially when our heads and hearts advise us otherwise. But the truth is that our initial reactions (or first ideas) to moments of crisis (for example, “My life is going from bad to worse” or “I will never find love again”) are contaminated by prejudices and governed by the lies we swallow about what should and shouldn’t bring us happiness.

My goal, therefore, is to expose and dismantle such prejudices and fallacies. The challenge, of course, is to transform habitual responses to major life changes or revelations, from purely intuitive strategies rooted in the lack of information about happiness to more rational ones.

Once the assumptions governing reactions are understood, one must decide how to act or whether or not to change (and how) one’s perspective. In this way, trust in the myths of happiness will be replaced by a prepared mind, a mind equipped to make better decisions based on reason and to think instead of blinking.

Try to adopt the perspective of an objective observer. The key is to free yourself from the minutiae.

V eámoslo with an example: boredom in marriage.

Your first reaction to this situation may be: “I don’t love my husband as much as I used to, so our marriage must not work or he is no longer the right person for me.” Using theoretical and empirical evidence, I propose to unmask the fallacy behind this reflection – the idea that marriage is always satisfactory – and to make suggestions on how to approach, remedy or handle the situation.

4 tips to make better decisions

So how do you decide what next steps to take in circumstances like these? Psychologists provide practical suggestions supported by evidence.

1. The first thing you have to do is make a mental note of the first intuitions or hunches about the path you should be taking – perhaps even write them down – and then archive them for some time. After a season of thinking about the situation systematically, you can reconsider your initial hunch in light of new information or new ideas.
2. Second, seek the opinion of someone outside (an unbiased friend or advisor), or simply make the effort to try to adopt the perspective of an objective observer. The key is to free yourself from the minutiae of your problem (let’s say you’re experiencing a loss of passion at this point) and try to reflect on the general category to which the problem belongs (say, the evolution of physical attraction in a woman). lasting relationship).
3. The third step is for you to consider the “opposite” of what the hunch is inviting you to do and systematically review the consequences in your mind.
4. Ultimately, when the crossroads involves making multiple decisions (rather than just one), you have to weigh all the alternatives simultaneously. Research shows that such a “joint” decision is better and less prone to bias than “separate” decisions.

Avoid over-analysis

Although these four recommendations are not a panacea, potentially they can put us in the right direction on the path we must take in the face of life’s challenges and turning points. However , we should be very attentive that our reasoned and systematic analysis does not end up degenerating into an excess of reflection that leads us to ruminate or think obsessively about all vital choices; Ruminating is a dangerous habit that is likely to trigger a vicious cycle of worry, grief, hopelessness, and “paralysis by analysis.” If the second and third judgments we make are repeated or begin to move in circles, then we will be ruminating, not analyzing.

In short, when faced with a fundamental life revelation or change, it is natural to want to act quickly and instinctively. But it helps to wait and think, and not jump into conclusions. Thinking things through once won’t get us too far. Although it is not easy to determine the optimal way to proceed, we can start by rejecting the first thing that comes to mind, and remain open to the many potential reactions to life’s critical moments.

The myths of happiness

I cannot advise every person to follow a specific path; each of us must choose and shape our own unique path. Depending on our personal antecedents and social support networks, as well as our personality, goals and resources, the specific roads and detours may be more or less appropriate, beneficial or rewarding.

Researchers have shown that when people behave according to their personality, interests and values, they feel more satisfied, confident, competent and involved in what they are doing, and they feel “comfortable” about it.

The goal is to use the most recent studies to broaden our perspective on the critical moments we face, dismantle the false beliefs about happiness that govern our initial reactions, and have tools to extract our own opinions and hone new skills.

Enriched with counterintuitive good sense and instructive detachment from problems, the next crisis will find us with a ready mind. Although at first our moments of crisis may seem disappointing or confusing, in reality they are opportunities to change our lives or, at the very least, to gain a clearer vision of the future.

With this new point of view, we will be better able to use the main challenges to make important advances. Ultimately, we can all identify the steps to take to follow our own path to a fulfilling life and help us reach and exceed our potentials for happiness.