Ruminations, Endless Negative Thoughts

A few days ago I received an email from Carmela, a young woman who had finished her therapeutic process almost a year ago . Among other things, he wrote to me:

“… I feel so liberated after therapy, my car broke down last week, a fact that in the past would have destabilized me enormously. As you know, the old me would have spent days and nights terrified by catastrophic thoughts about the car: how was I going to pay for the repair, how would I get to work without a car, was I going to lose my car, was I going to be without it, was I going to It was so expensive to fix it that I could not pay for it, the fault of what happened to the car was mine because I did not know how to drive well, if they managed to repair the car it would never stay as before, these and a thousand more negative ideas would have turned around in my head one and again, again and again for days, even with the car fixed, he would have continued with a batch of new thoughts on the subject.

How exhausting I was not being able to stop thinking like that!

However, Ramón, this time, I was able to stop that incessant flow of thoughts. I was able to leave my fears behind, they no longer dominate me. I managed to be realistic and stay in the present. I did not ruminate and, when I arrived at the workshop, everything was fixed with a simple change of battery.

Before doing therapy, I always put myself in the worst, now, I live the day in its moment. I feel liberated from anxiety and the need to have everything under control. Can I enjoy my life.

Ramón, do you know one thing that I have noticed? It’s funny, but in all my life none of the catastrophic prophecies that I ruminated for hours and hours since my childhood was never fulfilled. .. ”.

Obsessive worries: an extreme need for control

Ruminations, worries, obsessive thoughts … they consume a lot of time and energy, and yet things never happen as we have ruminated them. Obsessively turning over thoughts, in addition to distancing ourselves from reality by placing ourselves in an almost always catastrophic future, generates great anxiety and can sometimes lead to depression.

Most of the time, ruminations are produced by a need for control taken to the extreme. Very difficult childhoods full of fear, instability and insecurity, push many people to seek to feel safe by controlling all the possible events that may occur in their lives (with special incidence in the most catastrophic and negative).

Going over and over the different possibilities gives them a false feeling of control and security, thinking that they have planned and studied all the options. However, these thoughts, far from being positive for their lives, end up plunging the person into negativity, anguish and again, into insecurity.

How to stop?

To stop the flow of obsessive thoughts, you must begin by facing and assimilating, from the present, the events of the past. After this work of introspection, the person will be able to regain self-confidence and will be able to assume (although at the beginning it is a difficult process) that to overcome the various circumstances of life it is not necessary to have everything under control, simply, you have to focus on living in the present.

Contrary to what the ruminant mind believes, the more we trust ourselves and focus on the present, the more fluid our lives will run: without blockages, without anxiety, without anguish.